We’ve all heard it said before— good things happen to those who wait. We were told so often growing up that patience is a virtue, and it certainly is in most situations, but not when it comes to getting what we want from life. Many of us become complacent in our routines. We get comfortable at work and think that opportunities will present themselves to us when the time comes. In our love lives, too, we believe that eventually the right one has to come along, because that’s how life happens, right? We tell ourselves that, but that’s not how it happens. When you rid yourself of these five expectations, you can finally stop waiting and become a seeker.
It’s my turn.
So many people get stuck in a rut because they think they’ve earned the right to pat themselves on the back before putting in the work. While you should congratulate yourself for a job well done and value the work that you do for yourself and others, you shouldn’t mistake going through the motions for real commitment. This applies to every aspect of your life, whether it’s your job, your relationships, or even your hobby. Just because you’ve been at it for a long time doesn’t mean that you can’t find something to improve upon. Life shouldn’t be seen as a competition, but if you really want something, you have to go after it. If you never expect things to fall into your lap, you won’t be disappointed when they don’t—and pleasantly surprised when they do.
If I try, I will probably fail.
When you expect to fail at something, it’s probable that you will. Nobody wants to be a self-fulfilling prophecy, so instead of beginning with failure in mind, tell yourself that you can succeed at anything you put your mind to. The more you say it, the more likely you are to believe it, so say it loud and say it often.
Someone will help me.
Asking for help is not a weakness, but if you constantly rely on others to solve your problems for you, then you are depriving yourself of any personal or emotional development. We all experience adversity in our lives, and when we don’t expect others to help us when we are in need, we are better equipped to handle tough situations when no one can be there for us.
No one understands.
While life is unique for every person, that doesn’t mean that we can’t share in each other’s happiness or commiserate in another’s pain. If you expect not to be understood, chances are you won’t make an effort to explain what’s going on in your world. When communication breaks down and emotional walls go up, you can only expect to feel isolated. Many of us put up these walls because we want to feel like we matter, but just because someone else may have had an experience similar to ours does not take away from the importance of what we are going through.
What I do doesn’t matter.
Everything that you do matters. For others to see your worth and the effect that you have on those around you, first you have to believe that you are making a difference. It’s easy to measure life in cups of coffee and midnight oil. It’s even easier to take no measure of life at all. When you don’t see the worth of your efforts, even those that don’t result in anything, you are refusing to take a true measurement of yourself and all the good that you do. If you expect more of yourself, you are sure to see the difference you make.
Ridding yourself of these expectations won’t be an easy task, but once you do, you will realize that it was well worth the effort. If you want to find out more about how ridding yourself of unhealthy expectations can greatly improve your emotional well-being and help you live a more balanced and bold life, read about my new 5-step program, Live Balanced and Bold.
You can also call me to schedule a coaching session.