Nobody—not the President, not Superman, and not you—can be everything to everyone. It just isn’t possible. Simply put, you have to set limits for yourself and others. Being a people-pleaser is not only exhausting but also self-defeating. If you take on too much of other people’s responsibility while ignoring your responsibility to your mental and physical health, you are sure to burn out very quickly. “No” should be in your vocabulary, and you should not be afraid to use it, because, though you may want to help others, you have to take care of yourself first.
Here are 8 benefits of setting boundaries:
Boundaries are a way or putting your own needs over the needs of others. It’s really as simple as that. Taking care of your own physical and emotional maintenance is not a selfish act; it is necessary. Should someone sees it as selfish, consider their motivations. Is their need that much more important than yours?
By taking some time for yourself, you can get back to basics. Remind yourself what you want in life and who is most important to you. When you respect your own needs, you will find that helping others is much more manageable than before. The reward you get in return is a deeper, more meaningful bond with those in your life.
Putting others before yourself is a good way to let stress dig its claws into you. It should come as no surprise, then, that one of the best ways to de-stress is to begin putting yourself first. Everyone has their own stuff to deal with. Get your life in order before you start helping others again. Put your happiness first for a while to see how it feels.
Before setting boundaries, you have to take the time to reflect on what those boundaries mean, which makes you search your feelings for emotional needs that you may not even know exist. The setting of limitations is thus an act of self-awareness.
Drawing boundaries forces you to communicate in a clear, concise manner. People need to know what you will and will not do for them. The only way to get your point across is to learn how to communicate clearly and with intent.
One reason many people are afraid to set boundaries is that they don’t want to upset those they care about. We all need approval and validation, but by saying no once in a while, we can show that our time is valuable, at least to ourselves, if not to others. Setting limits on your time and energy can help others better appreciate your efforts.
Increased Emotional Stability
Not knowing how to set boundaries or how to say “no” to certain people gives away your power to make decisions over your life. A feeling of helplessness can lead to emotional instability, anger, sadness, and depression. Learning how to set boundaries can help you regain that power.
By setting boundaries for yourself and those in your life, you can better understand what others go through. When someone says “no” to a request, you can see that they are not being selfish—you’ve been there, so how can you judge? With this new perspective, you will be able to better manage your needs, making it possible to get more joy out of life.
If you feel that your life is out of balance, you need to take steps to regain your footing so you can get back to being happy and living a more bold life. The Sirkin Creative Living Center can help. Call Alicia Sirkin to set up an appointment today.